So many of us feel as though we must do what is best for others at the detriment of our own well being. Although we were born to live a life of servitude, we were not meant to inflict harm or hardship on ourselves while serving others.
There were so many times in my past that I felt the immense pressure to do things that I truly did not want to do. Most of the time, there was no one else putting pressure on me to do these things. I was applying the pressure myself. I was filled with the “what ifs”…what if they think I don’t care…what if no one else will do it…what if it comes back to haunt me. I was actually creating myself more anxiety when I could have been in a more peaceful place if I had just said NO…NO to myself and anyone else who was requiring something from me that I did not want to give.
Today, I am well past the place of not being able to say no and I invite you to join me. I promise you that the world will not fall apart because of it.
It is OK to stay home and relax rather than attend a family function or join your friends in an outing. You are not being selfish; you are taking good care of yourself. Only you know when your mind and body needs to be recharged and it is up to you to recognize that.
It is also ok to change your mind if you’ve already committed to something, as long as it will not cause undue hardship on someone else. Things come up…changes occur and sometimes you realize that you were not being true to yourself when you made the commitment. In this case, just say I know I said I would do it, but it just does not feel right to me now. Withdraw and do not feel guilty about it.
Finally, it is also ok to say no without giving a detailed explanation. Even if you feel compelled to offer one, know that is not necessary. No is a complete sentence and in many occasions, it is all that needs to be said.
Teresa L. Holmes