“When there is no enemy within, the enemies outside can do you no harm”….African Proverb
Sometimes, if we would dare to be totally honest with ourselves, we would find that WE are the root cause of our struggles.
In many cases, this can be very difficult. Some don’t want to own their own mess. It is much easier to believe that other people are at fault…that they have been “wronged” by another.
What I have FINALLY learned along my journey, is that self-reflection and being totally honest with yourself is a very useful tool. It provides insight into your own perceptions and helps to fuel personal/business growth and development.
I struggled for so long, but can now say that I am a glass-half-full person. I now operate under the belief that the more I take care of myself, own my mess and even my own happiness, the more of my true self I can give to others.
What helped me change? I ran right smack into a wall! But this wall was not brick. It was glass and when I looked into it I saw the total reflection of me. No this wall was not made of any kind of stone, but it still caused me some pain. It was a mirror and it showed the true me!
I was no longer able to ignore the things I didn’t want to face. I could no longer avoid the things I needed to do to become whole. My reflection was telling me that I needed a complete makeover; emotionally, mentally and spiritually. Everything that I had chosen to ignore for so long was staring back at me and I was forced to take notice.
Being faced with my reality reminded me of how delicate and vulnerable each of us can become when we refuse to accept our true selves. You may not have yet been forced to look within yourself, but your time will likely come. And when you do and you are still struggling to fully understand what is looking back at you, take a look at what helped me:
1. Be completely honest with yourself.
There is nothing more difficult. Sometimes our own truth is painful beyond measure, but it is also liberating. Your honesty will help you to remove the masks that you have been wearing for so long. Your truth will help you unbury the blame, acknowledge your mistakes and will open your mind to forgiveness and the strength to carry on.
2. Get to know and love your true self.
Dig deep and determine what you need each and every day to support you in being the very best you that you can be. Unwrap the gifts that you have allowed to be stored away for so long. The ones that you need to serve those who God has assigned you to serve. And learn to love yourself before you dare to love another. Give yourself and them exactly what is deserved; a whole and healthy you.
3. Accept the whole of who you are.
This is different for everyone, so dare not look to the right or the left into someone else’s mirror. And know that there will be things about yourself that you are unable to change. Embrace them. Don’t waste energy on them. Focus only on what is within your power to change.
Doing the above should help to end the internal struggles and change you from your own biggest challenge to your most strongest supporter. When you know and accept who you are, live in accordance with your own personal beliefs and principles, and take care of yourself emotionally and physically, there will be very little room left for conflict or struggle.